So, Kazak-land is angry that their country would be made fun of by a certain Sacha B. Cohen … they say “Borat is not representative of our country!”

Well, that may be true… ’cause Borat actually lives in Uzbekistan:

Taxi driver: OK! (in English) Remember me! (Russian)  America!  America!
Me: Oh, hello. Yes, I remember you.
Taxi driver: OK!  Los Angeles?  New York?
Me: New York.
Taxi driver: OK!  OK!  I like George Bush. Do you like George Bush?
Me: Not really.
Taxi driver: OK!  Clinton?  Do you like Clinton?
Me: Not really.
Taxi driver: OK!  OK!  OK!  Very good!

Reading drtaekim’s entry on Spanish (it IS funnier if you know Spanish!) made me think, yet, again, about why studying Russian is like Japanese seppuku.

Then again, maybe I’m just being overly dramatic.  Since there are only three tenses in Russian – present, future, past – you have to use different versions of the same verbs to “convey” the tenses. I guess that’s just as difficult as remembering, in English, “I will have been studying” or “I am going to study”… or whatever….

So if I want to say “I read the book for one hour”, you use the verb chi-tat.  But if you want to say “I read it” (meaning, you finished reading it), you use the verb pro-chi-tat.    “I will read the book” – pro-chi-tat.  “I am reading it” – chi-tat. 

This is why I’m committed to learning Russian for the rest of my natural born life.  And maybe even in heaven, I’ll ask God if he wouldn’t let me continue learning Russian.

My homework for the weekend is reading excerpts from Tolstoy’s War and Peace.  Wish me luck. 

Recent taxi adventures – three charming vignettes

Breaking the “good minority” stereotype

(I’m walking down the street, needing a taxi after Andrey and Ella’s wedding. I’m calculating in my head how much it should cost. 800 soum seems reasonable. A small Tico slows down next to me.)
Taxi driver: you probably need a taxi, right?
Me: yes, besh yogoch.
Taxi driver: skolko? (how much)
Me: 800?
Taxi: (annoyed) oh, you Koreans are all the same. (drives away)
Only then do I realize that 800 IS way too little.  He drives off and I wanted to run behind him saying “No!  I meant 1200!  wait, stop!”
Koreans, local and Koreans from Korea, are known to be EXTREMELY stingy… He stops front of me at Andrey’s mom and grandmother and they’re about to get in. I walk by, and she says “Lana!  where are you going!” and the driver shakes his head “NO! NO!  I’m not taking her.  She’s KOREAN!”

I felt so ashamed. 

…and I sharpen my bargaining (and smiling) skills…

Me: Hello!  Besh Yogoch?  500?
Taxi driver: 800!
Me: (smiling) Come ‘on… 600!
Taxi driver: Okay.

You get what you get!

After a conversation with a taxi driver who said “take me with you” when I said I was leaving in December, I decide he’s a good soul and give him more than the price we agreed on. I hand him 1000 soum (we had decided on 600).

Me: I don’t need the change.  This is a gift for you.
Taxi Driver: (driving away) You… should’ve.. given… me… dollars!

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

And a few more pics from the wedding:

Walking in with Abid…

Me, with the gorgeous Indira.  She is the receptionist at our office.

And here’s Ella, about to POUND someone with her bouquet. I didn’t catch it.

My friends Andrey and Ella (both Russian) got married on Saturday night after 8 years of dating! I’ve known the two of them just for a year or so… Ella was my roommate for a few months and we became really good friends during that time!  The week of the wedding, she asked me to be a bridesmaid.

Their invitation included this picture below… I added the faces for a power point presentation I did for them.  This is an extreeeemly atypical wedding invitation here in Uzland.  Their whole wedding, actually, was quite Western.

The wedding day started at 9am.  The bridal party all got ready at Ella’s childhood home, about an hour away from Tashkent.

Here is beautiful Ella, in a wedding dress that Andrey’s mom MADE!  His mother also made HIS suit!
Amazing, eh?  We waited at the house for Andrey…

Some of the guests that weren’t invited to the ceremony came over for lunch.  To the left is Ella’s grand uncle who travelled from Tajikistan!
Ella was SOOO happy that he could come.

Two of Ella’s other’s bridesmaids, Zamir and Shaxlo… both Uzbek…

And here is Firuza, Ella’s maid of honor.  Firuza and Ella are really like sisters, as they are both only children.
Firuza is wearing one of the bridesmaid dressese that my friend, J. Fendler, sent for my other friend who runs a wedding salon.

And here I am in the limo (yup!  a real limo!) on the way to the ceremony with Andrey’s best man, Sergei. 
Sergei is married to a local Korean, and has two children, and is only 23 years old!!!!

Appetizers… (those fish on top are called SHPROTI… they’re like sardines)

The cake…

My friends Losha and Luda playing a game at the wedding… the couples had to dance
while keeping this apple in between them…

I thought this napkin thingie was… unique…

It was a great time… eating.. dancing…laughing… Congratulations to Andrey and Ella!!!

“But why on earth do you girls just wait passively when you feel something for a guy?”

edit: Loved hearing everyone’s input.   I think that in 99.999% of cases, it’s better if the guy pursues the girl.  This doesn’t mean we necessarily wait passively… I think it’s just means we don’t say “hey, I like you. Let’s hang out”- FIRST.  I glean this advice from the book: “He’s just not that into you”.  Hi-lariously true book.   I say 99.999% of cases because I know of ONE case where the girl pursued the guy, he was hesitant… but even in THAT case, the guy ultimately decided he wanted her!  And now they’re happily married.

So guys, I say: keep asking them girlz out!  And to girls, I say: (I’ve been given this advice) Ain’t nothing wrong with giving out some signals that say “hey, pursue me!” (but don’t ask me what those signals are – hey, there’s another question:

GUYS: What CAN a girl to say “hey, I’m interested!” without being too obvious, thus giving you the opportunity to ask her out without fear of total rejection?

Note: this is TOTALLY hypothetical, in case any of you were wondering…

Yesterday, I went to the driving range with an expat family. Yup – we have a golf course here!  It was built in cooperation with the Koreans.

It’s cheaper to fly over here from Korea ($900) and play golf, as it costs $300 a day to play in Korea.  I think you can play at this course for like… what $30 a day?  And you can get decent Korean food afterwards!  (I tried the jja jjang myun – better than the other places I’ve had it, but still not as good as North China’s in Houston, Texas!)

So there are Koreans here who come to play.

Also, you have to have a caddy when you play, and it’s always mixed gender… so if you’re a woman, you get a male caddy… if you’re a man, you get a female caddy. Go figure.

I stayed on the driving range.  The learning curve is steep, i.e., you go from not hitting the ball… to hitting the ball… but then after that, improvement is very very very slow. 

Anyway, it was nice to spend a few hours in a different environment.

So, I got home at around 2am last night (bachelorette party!) and immediately connected to the Internet to see what was up with my Woooolverines!

What a THING OF BEAUTY to find that we were winning, no, STOMPING all over the Irish!    It was 34-7!

Then I discovered that I could keep track of the game through this:  http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/boxscores/2006/09/16/34007_boxscore.html

Every few minutes or so, it would update!  So this is how I “watched” my Wolverines in the wee mornings, lying on my couch in Uzland.

I anxiously waited as the page uploaded….

Another TD at 2:30 in the 2nd quarter – “HAIL TO THE VICTORS…” sang with arm pumping in my living room… then a stupid useless TD by the Irish…

2 field goals in the 3rd quarter…

Another sad attempt – TD by the Irish… And then a fumble in the 4th quarter leading to the final nail in the coffin!    WOOO HOOO!

4:45 am, I feel asleep finally.  Woke up this morning with the same smile on my face! 

Go BLUE!

Before I went to Michigan, I hated football. 

But since the fall of 1993, when I first experienced the amazing energy and excitement of a Michigan football game at the incomparable Michigan stadium, I’ve loved it, loved it, loved it!

I still remember being at the stadium with 100,000+ people, doing the wave.  Amazing.  And the emotional roller coaster of loving a team like Michigan… who often is so close…and yet, so far…

I remember the DEVASTATING loss against Colorado our sophomore year, and the guys in my class being SO upset that the girls weren’t allowed to talk to them for the rest of the day!

Being in AWE of the rich tradition and history of Michigan football… this is what I immediately liked about this guy,

Junior Defensive Tackle Alan Branch

On what it feels like to play in this rivalry … “I can’t explain it. I’m a boy from New Mexico. I never thought I would be in Michigan, and just playing with this type of tradition. Here alone, it’s overwhelming. But then you put me in a big rivalry game like Notre Dame, Ohio State and Michigan State. The first time I played, I barely was able to breathe after I touched the banner. It will probably be the same this year. It’s just an awesome feeling to be a part of something so thick in tradition.”

How frustrating to be over HERE instead of over THERE (Philly peeps!  wish I could watch it with you!)… when we’re playing Notre Dame… and yes, history CAN repeat itself, as stebuh pointed out… 

We believe!!!  Go Blue!

Edit: our BOOOTIFUL stadium.  THE BIG HOUSE. 

Taxi conversation (In Russian)

Taxi driver: Where are you from?
Me: Korea
Taxi driver: North Korea?  or South Korea?

*** I always mix up “north” – severniy, with “south” – yoojni… I don’t know why. ***

Me: Yoojni (south)!   No, Severniy (north)!
Taxi: Severniy (north?)
Me: Yes, of course, North!  Of course! 
Taxi: Oooh, yes.  You know, North Korean girls are *prettier* than South Korean girls.

*** So I’m thinking — “what is he talking about?  North Korean girls are, like, starving..how could they be prettier than South Korean girls?” — failing to notice that I have now aligned myself with the Great Dear Leader… the DPRK… the SEVERNIY… ***

As I get out of the cab, I say to myself: “WAAIT!  I meant Yoojni!  No, Severniy!  No Yoojni! Yoojni!”
In other words: “Wait, I’m uglier!  I’m free, but I’m uglier!”

All hail my Father, Kim Jong-Il!   Though actually, my dad IS from the North. 

Also, isn’t it strange that people here think that there COULD be people from North Korea here, now, who aren’t local Koreans??

Sept 11th, 2001

– going to Macys on Sept 12th to buy melvis underwear (she lived downtown and couldn’t get to her apartment)
– six of us living in my apartment for a few days… (even ones who COULD get to their apartments — rehey, jwli)
– the missing posters plastered all around Manhattan…
– an overflow of people at Redeemer, the first Sunday service after…

What happened afterwards…

– US bombing Afghanistan, freeing them from the Taliban
– JDA (yup, the NGO I work for now) going in soon afterwards to deliver aid and start helping with rebuilding the country

Meanwhile…

– I read various articles about why, why, why… and start to think: “maybe I can do something?”

One year later…

– I go to Phoenix for an orientation for Food for the Hungry…

Two years later…

– I go to Thailand for training in prep to go to Uzland with JDA…

And more than two years later… on January, 2004…

– I land in Uzland…

And in May, 2004…

– I cross the Friendship Bridge into Afghanistan, and arrive in Mazar-E-Sharif, home to
Massoud, N. Alliance leader (anti-Taliban) who was killed on September 10th, 2001

Late (November?) 2004…

– I launch my Xanga site to keep friends informed about life here in Uzland

December 2004…

– Rehey subscribes to my site

Almost a year later…August 2005…

— Drtaekim subscribes to my site

Then, on December 2005….

– Rehey leaves a “love note” on drtaekim’s site:
“I’m sorry to tell you this because I don’t even know you,
but you clearly copied this poignant anecdote from the book below…..
There’s trouble when you have a link from Lana’s site. Strange people find you.”
(http://www.xanga.com/drtaekim/401849054/item.html)

.. which launches a barrage of mean comments from drtaekim’s “friends” — I guess we know won’t be invited to the wedding! (oooh – snap!)…

A few months later, on March 2006, I get this email from rehey…

– “some interesting info: drtaekim and i have been talking and we’re kind of seeing each other.”

Then on 5/15/2006…

— “so, this weekend tae surprised me by asking me to marry him!”

http://www.xanga.com/drtaekim/486076818/item.html
http://www.xanga.com/rehey/485617485/item.html

So rehey and drtaekim, just remember who you need to thank for getting you two fools together….

 

That’s right: Osama. Al-Q. Terrorists. 
Quelle romantic!